If you want to file a formal complaint against the airline, you can e-mail the Aviation Consumer Protection Division of the Department of Transportation at airconsumer@ost.dot.gov. Or you can call at 202-366-2220.

For cruises:
Go straight to the services desk to try to get the problem resolved immediately, sometimes if you complain they’ll give you some free onboard credit for services like the spa, drinks, etc. If bad weather makes you miss a destination or something, ask and you will get cash to spend on the next cruise if it’s serious enough.

To file a complaint about your cruise, contact the Federal Maritime Commission at www.fmc.gov.

For hotels:
Solve problems on the spot, a complaint later won’t get a good response. You probably won’t get free stuff out of it but you usually can get your problem resolved.

For online travel agencies:

Online agencies like Expedia.com are doing millions of transactions over a period of a month. [travel writer and ombudsman Chris] Elliott says there’s bound to be some errors. “They’ve developed this system that deflects complaints. If you send them an e-mail, they may send you a voucher. Don’t take that funny money. Get a check,” he says.

How you try to sneak it on depends heavily on when you try to sneak it on. The earlier the better, once you’re on the boat, you’re on their turf and they’re in control.

Pre-Boarding: If you are on a cruise where you can carry on other beverages, the easiest thing to do is to pour it into other bottles. Vodka looks like water, whiskey/rum and other dark spirits look like apple juice, and everything else (beer?) is not worth bringing on board. They aren’t going to search that carefully because they’re more afraid of weapons and bombs, college kids stealing on booze is the least of their worries now.

From The Stops: Buying liqour in Mexico, or any port, is awesome because you don’t have to pay the taxes. If you drink it all before you land back in the states, you can avoid the customs and tariffs too. If you want to sneak it on board, don’t buy it in a government customs-free store and then take it on board. Transfer it to another bag because, at least in Mexico, they are clearly marked. In Cozumel, the bag was a huge red circle on it. When you get on board, just put the bag on the metal detector. They shouldn’t hassle you because they’re, once again, searching for weapons. If you go when the boat is about to sail and there are a ton of people getting on board, they’ll rush you through without a thought. Usually the customs folks are after them and if you have a nondescript bag, just keep walking. If you are stopped, then apologize about how you don’t know and give it to them. It’s not worth fighting, otherwise go upstairs and get drunk.

On-Board: Anything bought in the store will be held by customs unless it’s the last night. You might be able to have them give it to you but they may keep it that night. Be nice and they may not care. Remember the guy in the store gets paid his wage regardless of whether or not he seizes your booze, so be a nice guy/girl and they won’t hassle you. Enjoy the booze!